(Learn from his experience)
Kev has spent over 3 years living with terminal cancer - developing new wisdom as a result
"At the end of 2014, when I was first told that I may well be dead from prostate cancer by the end of 2016 I simply could not cope. As time went by, though, I started to come to terms with living like that -with the executioner waiting in the wings- and you know what? It made me stronger.
"Bear in mind the doctor's target. You can then view all the things done after that; at the end of 2016; everything I did in 2017; and everything I get to do in 2018 and, perhaps, beyond; are all a total bonus.
"Every day I now see as a gift and if you have a gift it would be rude to not use it, to leave it unwrapped, in a dark corner of a cupboard. I like to think that I have ripped the paper off that gift, smiled the biggest smile and used it in the best way I can every day. I try not to abuse it and have done more in the last 3 years -be it having fun, achieving goals, creating memories or raising funds and awareness for Prostate Cancer UK- than I would have imagined was possible to do in a decade.
"I love life so much now. All of it. When I used to run and there was a snail on the pavement where my foot was about to land, I let my foot land. Now I think that that would be wrong, so I move my foot mid air and miss the snail. It takes no effort sometimes to save a life! Sometimes I hear people getting stressed about little things, arguing, falling out. Whats the point, there are usually no winners in reality. Over the years I know I have ostracised too many mates by being opinionated and proving a point; it really wasn't worth it. I know I still do it at times but hopefully less.
"At work or on the train people talk about meaningless, manufactured TV programmes that they hang their own lives on and allow themselves to be influenced by. In the meantime, they are not (in my opinion!) living their lives but wasting that gift of the day they just had. When I was a kid, there was a TV programme called "Why Don't You?" which was always on during the school holidays and it was supposed to inspire the young viewers, who were supposedly bored whilst off from school, do something practical with their time. The show would start with a song that went "Why don't you, switch off the TV and do something less boring instead?" I remember at the time thinking that that's like turkeys voting for xmas but they knew that, for all their suggestions, most kids just carried on watching TV. Now it seems like it's all smart phones/tablets. No one seems to look up enough and a good night in is being glued to a screen, not conversing with others or making something.
"If you have got this far in my website then well done! The intention being that it tells the story of how my life changed with the arrival of prostate cancer and it can, hopefully, be of some guidance to anyone else who may find themselves in a similar kind of position. Sadly, the harsh facts are that more than 1 in 2 adults will develop some kind of cancer in their life at some point -but by sharing our experiences we can undoubtedly help each other through difficult times. But perhaps even more than that, and if nothing else a little legacy to me and your own life, would be for you to do something different that involved real life and not electronics.
"The happiness that we all can bring by noticing people, by saying hello, by using someone's name in a shop or even just smiling is amazing. We all know it but just don't do it enough. I have done many presentations to thousands of people since I was ill and people often come up to me and say 'It's ok for you but I can't run!' They missed the point! It's not about running, it's about now doing what you always wanted to. Be that learning a language or playing the guitar, travelling or undertaking a challenge that works for you. More than that though, it's also about making a positive difference to others, it usually costs nothing and often has a snowball effect."
Thanks for reading,